Both of Us .org

This is the 2005 Christmas tree. It is a cheap 20$ artificial tree from Target, but it does what it is suppose to which is display ornaments and lights. I enjoy putting up the tree and decorating it with my ornaments. The ornaments on the tree are mostly old, either collected or given to me by family members. Every time I unwrap them, I am amazed at how something so fragile has lasted so long. Many of them are around 100 years old. The tree will be up for the next month to liven up the typical gloom that comes this time of year.

My grandmother was a matriarch and our family lost her last week. At 91 years plus 9 months, Octavia Hazen had survived one of her children and all but one of her siblings. She gave life to 6 children who in turn bore countless grand and great grandchildren. In fact, the oldest great grandchild is now in her 20's and could have easily gave birth to the fifth generation given the opportunity.

I was very fortunate to have shared some of the last moments of life my grandmother breathed on this Earth. I got word last week Wednesday that she had entered the hospital, and had decided to forego continuation of dialysis. This decision was a personal choice to end her life. I respect and honor her choice, as she was dealing with 4 sessions of dialysis each week, each session lasting 4-5 hours. When I visited in October, I saw her shortly after dialysis treatment and she was clearly drained of energy.

My arrival at the hospital was difficult, knowing these would be the last times I could communicate with Octavia. I pondered what I would say, how I would react to seeing someone so close to death. Eventually I bowed to the flow of life and felt comfort knowing that she was ready to die. My emotions were also of love and happiness as I fondly recalled so many special moments the two of us shared.

Grandma and I shared a special bond. When I was a little boy, my parents would regularly send me into town on the weekend so I could be in the city and also so they could have adult time for themselves. In this way, my grandmother was a weekend surrogate mother. My grandmother treated me as her first born and I was indeed a spoiled well treated child. My weekend adventures continued until I was at least 12 or 13 years of age, but my memory is unable to pinpoint the exact age at which I grew out of this habit.

I never grew too old to not appreciate the goodness that was inherent in Grandma. When I learned to drive, I would often go to visit her on Saturday and would play cards. The game was sheepshead, a Wisconsin classic. Often on Saturday afternoon my aunts Judy and Gail along with uncles Gary and Ken would be there. 5 or 6 people can play sheepshead and I would look forward to the chance to get into a game with the adults.

Eventually I found myself farther from Oshkosh. I completed my studies at UWO and traveled to the Twin Cities to attend graduate school. Grandma and I always maintained contact either by mail or in person when I visited on holidays or during breaks. It was always special to return to home and be able to spend time with her.

The three years I was in Holland were the most difficult in terms of being far away from family. I was only home for a period of one week during those three years and if I have any regrets about my choice to work abroad it would be the distance between me and my family that inhibited time we could share together. Yet through the miles and across the Atlantic I made a point to make it known to my grandmother that she continued to have a special place in my heart and always would.

I have been back in America now 15 months. It became apparent that Grandma (as well as many of my family members) were aging and their time was a limited quantity. Last Spring my uncle Gary died. I saw him last Christmas and everyone knew he was not going to live long. Gary's death was especially difficult for grandma and soon after his passing she was struck with pneumonia and was hospitalized. At this time many of us thought she was going to die, but she hung on and fought for more time.

The trauma of loosing one of her children took a toll, dialysis was begun as treatment for her failing kidneys. I believe grandma enjoyed the Summer and she attended bingo a few times and got out and did some gardening. The arrival of autumn appears to have set in motion the completion of the life cycle. Grandma fell a few times and grew very tired of dialysis. Another Winter was not something she looked forward to.

I saw grandma in the hospital on Thursday last week. She was withered, frail and helpless lying in the bed. She was also aware and feisty of spirit. She recognized me and we shared emotions as we looked into eachother's eyes. I sat with her many hours over the next few days with other family members. I watched her slowly fade into oblivion. My last communication with grandma was on Saturday morning, the next two days she was in and out of sleep and unable to make a connection.

On Monday, the last day I was in Oshkosh with Octavia in person, I knew I was unable to say goodbye in a way she could hear. I kissed her cheek and forehead and wished her peace and much love. I told her again how much she is loved and appreciated. My plane left Appleton and I was in Philadelphia late that night. The next morning my mobile phone rang, but I was still asleep. My partner gently woke me and handed me my phone and I listened to a voice message from my mom telling me Grandma had died early in the morning. Tears welled and my emotions were heavy. Death is final.

Today was the funeral for Octavia Hazen. I was not there, but my mom tells me it was a good gathering of family and friends. Grandma was cremated and asked for a short funeral gathering. I wish I could have been there to share in the emotions and memories of my family. Yet I am tremendously thankful that I was able to be with my grandma the last moments she was lucent. I hope to never loose the memories I have of her and she will always be a cherished Matriarch.

If you need more evidence that it is worth it to switch from Internet Explorer to Firefox read the article below, published yesterday. Even if you are not going to switch you should read the article to see how to protect yourself from this attack or your computer might get "owned."
Zero-Day Exploit Targets IE

Yesterday Kofi Annan and Nicholas microphones announced an initiative to provide low cost computers to children. This laptop is designed to be given to children in poor nations. More information is available from MIT here.

I watched the press conference and I have been following this concept for months already in the tech sector news. This is quite exceptional and could change life in a large part of the world, bringing millions of children into the digital age.

The press conference, which is available for download at the MIT link above, took place in the World Summit on the Information Society in Tunisia.

For more information Google for hundred dollar laptop.

David Cole writes a really well thought out piece about the really terrible and mistaken policy of the Bush administration in regard to torture. His piece is called Who They Are.

How anybody could think that our current war is good or necessary is totally wrong. Anyone who creates a policy stating torture is ok is more than wrong, they should be held as a war criminal.

If you enjoy drawing, or even if you just enjoying watching other people draw, this is for you. You get to watch an artist draw a woman from scratch. The artist starts with her skeletal system then adds flesh and progresses finally to a fully dressed diva. It only takes around a minute if you want to check it out. This animation requires that you have the Flash Player.

This is a great article. I recomend that you read it whether you are from Kansas or not. Flying Spaghetti Monster, where are you now?


Kansas, Where "Ignorant" is the New "Educated"

You definitely have to try the Firefox Browser.

If you suffer from any problems with Internet Explorer, like pop ups or system freezes, Firefox will go a long way in helping you web surf easier.

If you have never tried it, I want you to dedicate the next 2 minutes of your life to putting this software on your computer. Just click the Firefox tab above to download and install it. Once you try it, I know that you will like it.

Firefox has my one hundred percent endorsement. I use it every single day.

A recent article says 14% of Americans are now using Firefox. What does this group know that you don't. Find out.

In a big city it is normal to hear a certain level of noise. Airplanes flying over head, people chatter on the street, all sorts of motor vehicle noise etc. are all well represented. I have been living in an urban environment for well over 10 years now and one would think that I am used to the sounds, but I am not.

Many noises I find tolerable. During the three years we lived in Groningen on the Vismarkt (fish market), we were witness to wave after wave of people coming into and going out of the city. These people were not meek, and we were often awakened in the middle of tht night by the sound of drunken men singing.

The downside of city life is bearing the inorganic noise of man made machines. The main offender is the automobile (followed closely by the city bus and the motorbike). In Groningen, due to the restriction of cars in the city center, we were rarely effected by auto sounds.

Car noise in Philadelphia is in your face. A year back in the USA, and I have still not adjusted. The constant flow of traffic on the streets and highways creates an ever present hum of white noise with car alarms, screeching tires, car horns and violent accelerations adding to the mix.

In light of dealing with irritating car sounds, I have occasionally dreamt that I hold a mighty power. My power is the ability to make cars explode when they needlessly honk their horn. While I have been composing this story, at least three honkings have been heard. If my powers were mature, there would only be the burning remains of those cars. Three more obnoxious honks just now; it is infuriating how people intrude on the serenity of others.

This would be a mighty and destructive power for sure. In a short period of time, my ears hear tens if not hundreds of unnecessary horn honking and that would result in streets littered with burnt car shells. Hopefully in light of my terrible power, people would wise up and carefully decide when to use their car horn. In the end, my power would be for the good of our community, it would end up more peaceful and serine.

I am talking about real pirates, not file sharers that the entertainment industry calls pirates. I was a bit surprised to read about the recent pirate attack on the Love Boat. but in all honesty I should not have been surprised. Pirates are not a thing of the past, and they probably do not have parrots and hooks and eye patches as the stereotype goes. These pirates had grenade launchers and automatic weapons.
It makes me think twice about booking a Carnival Cuiseline tour.

Abortion has never been a hot button issue with me. I am a man and what business do I have commenting on how a woman chooses to deal with an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy. I mainly empathize with the plight of women with regards to choice and reproductive/sexual rights.

To be honest I have not been terribly concerned that Roe vs. Wade will be overturned. My cynical view point is that the Republican party uses the abortion issue as a political device. They wave around the issue every 2-4 years during election time to rally the religious right, and then unceremoniously dump the issue until needed next time.

However if Samuel Alito is appointed to the Supreme Court, it is likely that Roe could be overturned. I believe we may have finally reached the point where the logical minds of the Republican party have been fully overtaken by the theological ideologues of the religious right. That is a danger to all of America because abortion is only the beginning of a moral adjustment the religious right has sought for many years.

I am not ready to panic yet, but these thoughts have brought to mind some facts. The numbers are stunning actually, there are an average of 250 abortions per 1000 births in the United States as of 2004. Abortion rates are not terribly different comparing red and blue states. The overwhelming reason for a woman choosing to have an abortion, unwanted pregnancy.

If Roe is overturned, it is likely that the blue states like California and New York will not change their abortion laws, however it is very likely that red states like Kansas or Utah will implement draconian abortion restrictions (if not totally outlaw abortion). This will mainly effect the poor, as they will not be as able to travel to pro-choice states. Thus the outcome will likely be more poor children, and more importantly - unwanted children!

These thoughts make the hair on the back of my neck bristle. The religious right insists women churn out babies, without regard to how they will be cared for or what type of future they are likely to face. The same group also insist on hiding sexuality, repressing sexual education and enforcing the image of sex as shameful. A simple fact finding search reveals that we are obviously on the wrong side of sex and sex related policy.

Our former homeland, the Netherlands, is arguably one of the most sexually open and permissive Western countries. Compare any of the sex related statistic (teen pregnancy rates, abortion rates, sexually transmitted disease rates etc.) of the United States and the Netherlands. The USA leads by a significant margin in all these categories. Logically one might connect some dots, sexual education works and leads to reduced unwanted pregnancies, lower STD rates and lower abortion rates.

Sadly, no matter what the facts are, you can give the fattest retard pencil to someone on the religious right and they still end up missing all the dots and draw you a picture of Jesus bleeding on the cross (excuse me for not being sensitive to mentally challenged folks, but it seemed to be the best way to make the point).

For now it is wait and see. The Democrats are signaling their impotence again as they are mulling over whether to filibuster or not. As I see it, if they are not committed or ready to use it, they have already forfeit the power the filibuster holds.

UPDATE: The religious right is getting uptight over a new vaccine due to arrive on the market. The vaccine is aimed at fighting cervical cancer and reportedly nearly 100% effective in clinical trials. Scientists say the vaccine will be an important tool in reducing the toll of cancer in women (last year 3700 women died as a result of cervical cancer). On the other hand religious activists claim that aggressive immunization will encourage teen-age sexual activity, as the vaccine also protects against a sexually transmitted virus. Will this turn out to be another example of religion trumping science? SFGate-Cervical cancer vaccine story

This month I am trying my hand at wring a novel. Actually the goal is to write a piece of fiction of at least 50,000 words between November 1 and November 30.

I just had my first writing session and I am about 1600 words in. More on this later.