Both of Us .org

"How are you feeling?" takes on a totally different tone than the same question held just over a month ago.

I feel good today.

I frequently feel like I am being anti-climactic when I say, "I'm feeling pretty good today." A much more interesting answer feels expected. Sometimes I wish I could answer something like, "My galactoid levels are really high today," or "About five minutes ago my sphincter was in pandemonium, but now I have it under control."

I feel quite good overall and this does not change much from day to day. I am fortunate that people want to know how I am doing, but I get slightly irritated by so much curiosity about my body. Want me to describe my low level nausea in detail? Are details regarding my difficulty following the Gerson therapy interesting? Do I have to admit that my hair is now starting to fall out in small clumps even if if you can't tell yet by looking at me?

When people ask me how I am feeling, the question feels poised to expose my difficulties. That in essence asks me to be vulnerable all the time. I prefer not to feel vulnerable all the time. Sometimes I feel like people are asking "Do you still have cancer?" and the answer to that will always be, "Yes." That can be a depressing question to answer repetitively.

Each glass of juice I manage to drink, each bowl of oatmeal I eat, each soccer game I play in, and even each coffee enema make me feel better. I choose to work and fight to be well and enjoy each day. My life is continuing. Cancer is part of my life now, but it is not the entirety of my life.

I finished the whole brain radiation treatment this past Wednesday, and in two days I undergo the Gamma Knife treatment to treat the largest tumors in my brain. This will be a whole day affair, and may take a day or so to recover from.

The tumors on the underside of my skin do not appear to be growing beyond the size they were a month ago although some tumors have appeared in new places. I don't have any pain. I am mostly asymptomatic of being in stage IV cancer. Beyond that, I don't know how my cancer is doing.

I feel good today.

Ask how my beer brewing is going. Ask if I have seen any good films lately. Ask who I support in the upcoming Minnesota Democratic Caucus (Barack Obama). Ask what my favorite food is on my new diet. Ask me to go out and enjoy the day with you. Questions like these focus on life continuing.

Labels: juicing, Melanoma, perspective, radiation

 Kristen wrote:
I would like to know if you have seen any good films lately. I have been meaning to see El Orfanato, but haven't got around to it yet.

 Morgon Mae wrote:
Hrm ... I want to caucus, but here's my thing: They're all the same! I mean, I know our world will be, like, a gah-jillion times better once there's a democrat in office, but why Obama, JB?

Now, in most elections I can find a minuscule difference between candidates for local judge or whatever, and that's enough. But let's not ignore the gender and racial issues that these candidates represent--it's real. And when there's so little difference policy-wise, I gotta hope the shot in the arm goes to feminism, which is way behind the civil rights movement in terms of being taken seriously.

Basically, I think I'm voting for Clinton because she's vagtastic. And I'm going to hell.

Would someone please convince me otherwise, with a substantial reason to vote for Clinton, Obama or Edwards?

Thanks.

 JSP wrote:
I have at least one reason for avoiding Hillary Clinton. That being she has been demonized by the right wing and will polarize conservatives like no other candidate. Clinton has faced nearly as much crap as her husband has and that will not change if she is the Democrats choice.

JB and I were talking about this a few weeks ago, the right wing will have a much easier time slinging mud at Hillary vs Obama mainly because it is much easier to be misogynistic than it is to be racist.

Case in point, Hillary is considered a shrew, calculating and power hungry...yet the day before the New Hampshire primary she teared up a bit and thus was critized for being weak, weepy and unable to represent our nation. No man is ever put to such high standards.

Obama will get critism, but it will be much more difficult to play out since it may be more scrutinized for subtle racist overtones. I think the days of Jesse Helms are gone, where one could easily put an image of a black man on the TV and scare everyone. Perhaps I am nieve in this area, but I do feel that for most of society it is easier to be misogynistic than it is to be racist.

As far as policy and what either Clinton or Obama will do, I do not see huge differences. I have always thought Clinton was more centrist than Obama, and in 2008 I am looking for the most progressive candidate we can muster. Truth be told, I think Edwards is actually the most left of the pack(Kucinich was really never an option).

 Dale wrote:
I am leaning toward Barack Obama. While I do think Hillary would do a fine job, I think it would be a constant uphill battle against her detractors. With the Clintons, they are either loved, or hated to the extreme, little to no middle ground. It would hamper her ability to move things forward. True, she has experience, but that is why so many are gravitating to Obama. They are tired of the "experienced" jerks that have dragged us down into this pit, and they want fresh and new. Barack Obama will create his own experience. Sure he would likely make some mistakes, but what President hasn't. If he gets the nomination, I think he should put a woman on the ticket for vp (though not Hillary). I think we need that totally fresh perspective to get back on track.

 Robert Scholl wrote:
Thanks for visiting my blog. It took me a little longer to get back to you than I expected. Please forgive me.

It's fantastic to hear that you are taking on Gerson Therapy. The therapy is most effective with Melanoma!

And, please be sure you have done your research. It is my understanding that combining Gerson Therapy with traditional Western therapy, i.e., chemo/radiation can actually be quite dangerous if not done properly. This is what I have heard and I felt it worth sharing with you so that you can heal your body as quickly as possible.

Congratulations on your GREAT attitude.

Be well!

 Morgon Mae wrote:
JSP, it seems like you are avoiding Clinton for the same reason I want to give her my vote: Americans don't yet take women seriously.

I guess we agree, but you take a more strategic tack. I see your point that having a woman in the world's highest office might not help. She could just be a bigger punching bag.

 Triskit wrote:
Jaybeeeeee: If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? (The Netherlands and Denver don't count! ;)) I've got some serious travel fever right now!

JSP: Are you doing Gerson by default?

 JB aka JayBee wrote:
Kristen,

The last move I saw was the Simpsons Movie on DVD. It was about what I expected.

I saw Juno recently and enjoyed it. I was familiar with much of the music in the film prior to seeing it, so hearing the Moldy Peaches featured in the film was really cool.

Last week I watched a French trilogy of movies called The Three Colors: Blue, White and Red. Which I greatly enjoyed.

Morgon Mae,

One of my strongest reason for backing Barak Obama over Hilary Clinton is that I believe that political dynasties or ruling families are bad for democracy in the USA. I would to like to see another Clinton, Bush, Reagan, or Kennedy in the white house. I think that political leaders become too close to royalty when this happens. I do not want to support the continuation of ruling families.

Also I believe that Hilary Clinton is more conservative that Barack Obama.

Robert,

Thanks for your kind words and encouragement about Gerson Therapy. I just finished my Gamma Knife treatment this afternoon and I am paying attention to what all is going on with my body between bites of apple and red bell pepper.

Triskit,

I think New Orleans would probably be at the top of the list for a fun warm place to vacation.