Both of Us .org
News and views from two charming fellows in Northeast Minneapolis.
Now with Cancer!
Now with Cancer!
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Moving back toward what passes for normal
By JB aka JayBee
It is Tuesday and I went to work today.
This weekend JSP and I were in Denver and in the mountains near Denver. We went to visit my sister Julie, her husband Christian, and our wonderful network of friends that we have made through them. Most of the group skied in wonderful snow conditions, but due to my lack of strength and endurance, skiing was just not in the cards for me. In the evenings we played lots of games together: Pictionary, Taboo, Texas-Hold-Em, Triads, and Mafia were some of the group favorites.
Julie even brought her Champion Juicer so I was able to consume some fresh organic juice even so away from home.
The flight from Denver has my ears feeling weird; every time I swallow my left ear pops, and just breathing sounds strange in my head. Small potatoes I guess.
Just three weeks after finishing my first Interleukin-2 therapy, and I feel mostly better. The therapy was honestly the worst thing I have ever been through. Receiving a dose of IL-2 every eight hours around the clock for five days was very difficult to undergo. The drug is toxic, and the pain/sleep medication I was prescribed caused me very unpleasant hallucinations when I was awake. At the end of the week, I had gained 20 pounds of retained water, my immune system was terribly weak, and I had an infection of thrush in my mouth that made eating and talking very painful. I barely recognized myself when I looked in the mirror; my face looked like a puffed up marshmallow. I felt exhausted.
I am still underweight and bald, but there is a gleam in my eye again. I feel happy and I have my eyes open to the beauty of the world. I am looking for (and finding) joy in random places and simple moments.
One of the spiritual teachers of my young adulthood, Ram Dass, author of Be Here Now recently wrote a book on aging and death. I have been slowly reading it since I came across it at our local library. It is interesting to me how persons transition from a young sexy self image into a self image that is not young or sexy. At age 32 I am going through that phase a bit early perhaps, but there is no reasoning or bargaining with the mirror. Ram Dass has some useful thoughts on the matter. He tells his readers to embrace these changes and to wear your new self image with pride and dignity. One does not have to be youthful, sexy, or even healthy to hold a place of respect, or to be loved.
This weekend JSP and I were in Denver and in the mountains near Denver. We went to visit my sister Julie, her husband Christian, and our wonderful network of friends that we have made through them. Most of the group skied in wonderful snow conditions, but due to my lack of strength and endurance, skiing was just not in the cards for me. In the evenings we played lots of games together: Pictionary, Taboo, Texas-Hold-Em, Triads, and Mafia were some of the group favorites.
Julie even brought her Champion Juicer so I was able to consume some fresh organic juice even so away from home.
The flight from Denver has my ears feeling weird; every time I swallow my left ear pops, and just breathing sounds strange in my head. Small potatoes I guess.
Just three weeks after finishing my first Interleukin-2 therapy, and I feel mostly better. The therapy was honestly the worst thing I have ever been through. Receiving a dose of IL-2 every eight hours around the clock for five days was very difficult to undergo. The drug is toxic, and the pain/sleep medication I was prescribed caused me very unpleasant hallucinations when I was awake. At the end of the week, I had gained 20 pounds of retained water, my immune system was terribly weak, and I had an infection of thrush in my mouth that made eating and talking very painful. I barely recognized myself when I looked in the mirror; my face looked like a puffed up marshmallow. I felt exhausted.
I am still underweight and bald, but there is a gleam in my eye again. I feel happy and I have my eyes open to the beauty of the world. I am looking for (and finding) joy in random places and simple moments.
One of the spiritual teachers of my young adulthood, Ram Dass, author of Be Here Now recently wrote a book on aging and death. I have been slowly reading it since I came across it at our local library. It is interesting to me how persons transition from a young sexy self image into a self image that is not young or sexy. At age 32 I am going through that phase a bit early perhaps, but there is no reasoning or bargaining with the mirror. Ram Dass has some useful thoughts on the matter. He tells his readers to embrace these changes and to wear your new self image with pride and dignity. One does not have to be youthful, sexy, or even healthy to hold a place of respect, or to be loved.
Labels: cold weather, friendship, juicing, Melanoma, winter
4 Comments:
Triskit wrote:
So sorry I missed you this time around. Would have loved to spend some time with you all up in the mountains, but family calls. Will make it next time for sure. Much love!
Robert Scholl wrote:
My heart goes out to you. That Interleukin-2 therapy sounds horrible or at least the pain medication you were on sounds terrible. I'm happy to hear it's over. And I hope it did what it needed to do so you don't have to do it again.
Be well.