Fitting weekend

The weekend has passed after many tears, celebration, hugs, warmth, food, family and friends. It was a truly fitting weekend in the spirit of who JB was in the living world. I was fortunate to have my mom, aunt and uncle begin the weekend with me, arriving on Thursday evening. Friday morning we traveled to the northern fringe of the Twin Cities to attend a Mass with family and friends. The Mass was a solemn and moving occasion, with readings, songs and tributes. Two especially powerful messages were delivered. First by JB's boss and friend Dr. MJK. She spoke truth to the person that JB was, a moving eulogy to all in attendance and I am very thankful for her presence, wisdom and support. JB's brother-in-law Brant gave a second eulogy in which he recounted the memories of many of JB's family members, each heart felt and moving.

Saturday I opened the house for anyone that was able to visit and celebrate in the way that JB would have appreciated. I wish I could have taken count, as my estimate of 150 or more people may be far short of how many people walked through the door. They all brought food and memories. The food piled on the table in an avalanche of tasty goodness. From 2PM until later in the evening, the house was shoulder to shoulder with people from family to work mates to friends. So many hugs and an abundance of laughter. There were people representing almost every phase of JB's life. His family of course, friends from high school and college, colleagues from work, friends from MMF, soccer team mates, and current friends were all represented.

The evening wrapped up around 11PM and the house was cleaned up by the last guests and my mom, aunt and uncle. The energy was palpable and I think everyone felt JB's spirit. I have to thank everyone who put forth such amazing efforts to help make the open house so successful. I also thank everyone for the cards of support and there will certainly be a nice donation to the melanoma research foundation as a result of the memorials presented.

It is Monday now and a new week is underway. I am still having a difficult time dealing with the JB's loss. Mornings are especially difficult, perhaps because I am fully aware of the his loss and his absence to haunt me the whole day. I also vividly see his last moments with me, laying in his bed as I watched him take his last breath. I try to remember the last time we had an emotional conversation, since most of his remaining days he was deep in sleep or barely able to communicate effectively. It seems so unfair that he was taken from us, yet we all knew the day would come. Nothing that we experienced together these last few years has been able to prepare me fully for what will come now that he is gone.

My future is certainly not clear, but I believe in the goodness that comes from all of our shared friends and family to help me through...to help each other through. I look forward to maintaining and deepening these relationships as the days and years pass. Again, my heart and mind thanks all of you that have shared our lives together and I hope to continue to share my life with as many of you as possible.