Celebrating his birthday

Tomorrow will be JB's 36th birthday, and even though he is no longer here in the flesh I am hoping we all are able to have some pleasant memories of the times we spent with him. I am thinking about him now and remembering his last birthday. Ever since I first met and fell in love with JB, I recall that his birthday was not his favorite day of the year. In fact I mostly remember him feeling fairly unpleasant emotions most of that day. I would do my best to be sensitive to his feelings, but often times we ended up having a bit of a ruffle. Perhaps the idea of getting older and slowly having his youth slip away was tough to endure.

However last year was different. Together we made a choice to try to make an event out of his birthday weekend. JB was feeling pretty good in the month and weeks coming up to the day. Earlier in the year he had open heart and lung surgery to remove tumors growing there, and those wounds had healed well enough that he started practicing soccer and had been back at work steadily.

The plan was to make a big deal out of the day rather than dwell on the negative aspects of getting older. And in JB's mind it was a pretty big deal to make it to another birthday and surviving through all the treatments he endured the previous 3 years. That Saturday, June 12, we invited all sorts of friends to the house for the evening to celebrate JB. It was a great turn out, the weather was mostly cooperative too. There was good food and a fire on the back deck.

Sunday was arranged by several of JB's sisters. We arranged to meet in the NE park only a few blocks from the house. A potluck picnic provided the food and drinks and the family provided the warmth of conversation and engagement.

Earlier that Sunday morning, JB had fulfilled his wish to play soccer. He was visibly thrilled with the idea that he would be participating in an actual game. I recall him putting on all his soccer gear and running out of the house early that morning to get in the game such that he could later attend his birthday picnic party.

When he arrived at the park you could see he had enjoyed his time. He got roughed up a bit playing, but settled right into the family gathering. The afternoon wrapped up and we left the park. Finally a birthday weekend fitting for such a wonderful man. My love I wish you happy birthday.... I so wish you were here with me and all of us to share your day together with.